If I don’t look cool, I’ll eat my hat.

My Parents/Various Friends: Your hat makes you look like a Hasidic Jew.
Me: It’s not that hat! It’s a homburg! You know, like the one Michael Corleone wears in “The Godfather.”
My Parents/Various Friends: No. Definitely Hasidic Jew.
Me: (weary sigh)

Dude gets it. A homburg is not the same thing as a fedora, nor is it the same thing as a porkpie.

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