Oh, the things Twitter can bring on.
It started with a throwaway reference to Groundskeeper Willie, and, well … how do you gauge Scottish greatness? The criteria can’t help but be totally arbitrary.
(Och. A whacking great tin o’ worms, this.)
But on reflection, Springfield Elementary’s redoubtable custodian must yield to the Chief Engineer of the U.S.S. Enterprise. Consider:
Round 1: Drinking
Groundskeeper Willie: Once opened a bottle of Buckfast in the library.
Scotty: Put a carpetbagging, shape-shifting alien right under the table.
Round 2: Fisticuffs
Groundskeeper Willie: Subdued a wolf. Barehanded.
Scotty: Started a bar fight with a room full of Klingons.
Advantage: Groundskeeper Willie.
Round 3: Engineering expertise
Groundskeeper Willie: Unclogged a toilet. Barehanded.
Scotty: … Really? Why are we even discussing this?
Not even close.
Ladies and gentlemen, television’s greatest Scotsman: Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott.
There may well be other criteria (thrift? poetry? Poor diet?), but this was just a one-off. I’m sure there are those out there who will differ. Bring it on.